disappointment

i msg with my frenz.. that hav for abt 15 years frenship.. i told her abt something that i knew.. she refuse to trust butt said that she is innocent.. .. she chose to trust her frenz... this hurt me so much ... da guy had even admitted to me. this damn hurt.. as i lied by ppl .. then now.. frenz choose to trust others but nott me... sigh...my frenz.. i beg u .. plz say out only after u had think properly..

y am i always lied by ppl ... and always ppl don trust wad i spoken .. y ?? is it im so small till u cant see me... or .. i hav no place in u guyz heart... after i receive his mail.. my heart broke.. cos now.. i've decided not to trust anyone easily as im so 'naive' = stupid...

i never have such suck CNY like 2009.. this CNY is full with hatred, tears, and shame. my mum problem haven settle.. then my sis problem occured.. those who suffer are me and my dad.. b'cos of my sis incident.. my mum slap me.. juz to release her anger and hatred. how come she did that ? since i was small.. she used to slap me juz to release her anger cos she lose money in gambling. now.. my sis da one who did wrong.. everyone hav their part of responsibility. y don she look at her problem butt juz saw others ppl ? i cant get in her mind! she is so mean.. i think.. my sis is so similar with her...they are juz da same although doesnt look alike but their thinking is so mean.. this incident is so destructive.. till spoilt me and my family relation .... i think....
i am born to get cheat , to get slap , and to get humiliated by bf , family and frenz... this is my life... haha.....

laughter that full with tears

sigh

im at home already.. feel kinda dull.. cos of this family.. my sis.. i really don know how to help her. i know now only she's da only wan can rescue herself.. butt ... she... is so stupid.. haiz.. hope she will get a good learning without hurt or bad things le... i really not dare to imagine wad will happen later.. cos even now.. da guy is so rediculous.. how abt in da future when im not around..

and.. tmr is big day.. for us to hav meal with whole family.. butt then. my a bu.. she say.. if don wanna this family broken.. then don back to have meal with them.. haiz... i really don know wad to do.. wad to talk to them let them to think better..

i hav to beware with every single word that speak with them.. hope... i wont say out any wrong thing to them and let them think -ve... hope everything will be ok.. God bless

feelings right now

feel so cold now.. my heart grow cold... juz like i hav lost my way in snow... and there is no way out.. i cant see others colour juz white.. im shivering alone in floaded snow like this polar bear

feeling in da moment

i am at CIT now.. lesson finished already.. i juz wanna back hometown earlier.. unfortunately.. i cant get any ktm or bus ticket for today... planning back at saturday evening.. butt feel hard to wait here.. really don like da feel now.. wanna stay away from here.. juz .. don wan stay here.
hope to back fast.. then go melacca celebrate CNY.. even no happy there.. choose to listening my mum annoy shouting than da silence here.. cant breathe here... physically and als mentally..

hope to know a new guy .. and dating liao ... so.. introduce some to me ba....

juz notice that every post in here all are -ve one... feel so emo and im a -ve ppl.. butt is common la.. my page call cass sanctuary.. of cos.. i'll juz come in when emo-ing lo .. lol.... this is juz for now la.. mayb wll hav a change after this lo ..

and guyz... tell u something.. if really love a gal.. never say sorry to her... and.. never lie to a gal.. and say u are protecting a gal.. this represent u not respect her..
and.. i HATE gossip guy and gals...

listening.. xiao jiu wo by jj and ah sa... take care everyone.. including me..

s.a.d

nothing can describe my feeling best except this

let it be

im back from holiday... and .. this is da third week i am here .. no more internet for me..
at cc now...

feel damn sad... cos.. hav to say goodbye to someone that i love.. cos... now only realize that i had never put him down from my heart.. wad da... haha... don noe how to describe this feeling... cos.. i .. juz not dare to touch that place in my heart.. juz let it be.. yesterday .. heard something that feel really good.. that is.. if two ppl are really love each other... juz give one more step out.. then .. both of them will get each other..
butt i think.. this never happen in my life.. haha.. so .. juz let it be

still no mood to study.. so much things happened these days again.. the book sure be damn famous if i write my whole life story in it... cos.. there's no long peace in my life..

cope with it .... cass ....

froz3n 1c3

juz finish chat with tzyyren,long, fong, woei juz now.. they are leaving me one by one.. in msn.. and also in my life.. cos.. every our sweet sour moment already become memory that will be never happen again in da future.. suddenly feel pain in my heart.. there is several ppl in my msn list played an important role in my life.. butt y now.. we had juz... didnt find each other even they are on9-ing.. listening jj song always on9.. which had da same compose with cries in a distance..
woei told that i had big different since my mum back... became more and more -ve and .. if i didnt ask him.. i will never know that. thanz for telling me.. butt. wad can i do. he said my attitude changed.. haha.. don noe.. he is da one who know me so so well .. even through few letter he knew im not happy even i ignore it .. he still keep asking.. ya.. mayb we're better to be juz frenz.. u wont be so emo like b4 .. and .. i don like guys that never reject gals.. u are.. and i am too. i am a gal who don noe how to reject ppl.. even ppl that i don like.. so .. we cant be with each other.u told me.. she sms u .. butt u forgotten wad she talked with u .. butt i think i knew by guessing.. she said mizz u .. and u'll reply mizz her too.. this is wad i get hurt too .. thats y i'll break with u .. of cos not only cos of this.. butt.. this made me know u crystall clear. can see ur ppt in a clear colourless solutn..
and dear.. thanz .. for being my no-body. butt i know u cant.. butt im still asking.. cos.. don noe ..i love bsb..hope to play with u.. now is da song can i hav this dance.. i love da lyrics..wad that u write down..and our love song..i love to look at da night sky.. cos it is silence... and i did chat with my fist love. tzyy.. we got da same thinking and habbits.. thats looking at da star and moon.. i'll be da star with da moon... this is da conclusion we had tonight.. a dull star is be with da moon for long time.. few years.. butt never leave her.. butt da moon already had da company of cloud.. she n3v@ notice da star.. he wan to be her nobody..
it is 1 am.. butt there is still many of my classmate haven sleep. they are working hard for da final test. butt. im juz fooling around..juz not feeling wan to study.. my mood is same like da weather nowadays..there is so hot and shinny during day time butt it juz starting to get a sudden rain during afternoon.. wad is that wind that keep affecting da cloud in my heart? now listening 安静了by SHE.. now is really silent man..
chris ask me to move to her frenz there.. i'll consider if i never met /=0/\/6 before.. its to late.. don ask me y .. few weeks ago .. my member msg and ask me. if today is stealing day.. wad am i wan to steal from her.. i answer.. i wan to steall all da unhappiness from her..i'm such a person like that.. i'll do all sort of thing for ppl good.. kinda stupid.. who will did it back to me.? 明天以后 from /=0/\/6 and vinci.. mizz u .. i appreciate wad we having now..