Tuesday, November 4, 2008

froz3n 1c3

juz finish chat with tzyyren,long, fong, woei juz now.. they are leaving me one by one.. in msn.. and also in my life.. cos.. every our sweet sour moment already become memory that will be never happen again in da future.. suddenly feel pain in my heart.. there is several ppl in my msn list played an important role in my life.. butt y now.. we had juz... didnt find each other even they are on9-ing.. listening jj song always on9.. which had da same compose with cries in a distance..
woei told that i had big different since my mum back... became more and more -ve and .. if i didnt ask him.. i will never know that. thanz for telling me.. butt. wad can i do. he said my attitude changed.. haha.. don noe.. he is da one who know me so so well .. even through few letter he knew im not happy even i ignore it .. he still keep asking.. ya.. mayb we're better to be juz frenz.. u wont be so emo like b4 .. and .. i don like guys that never reject gals.. u are.. and i am too. i am a gal who don noe how to reject ppl.. even ppl that i don like.. so .. we cant be with each other.u told me.. she sms u .. butt u forgotten wad she talked with u .. butt i think i knew by guessing.. she said mizz u .. and u'll reply mizz her too.. this is wad i get hurt too .. thats y i'll break with u .. of cos not only cos of this.. butt.. this made me know u crystall clear. can see ur ppt in a clear colourless solutn..
and dear.. thanz .. for being my no-body. butt i know u cant.. butt im still asking.. cos.. don noe ..i love bsb..hope to play with u.. now is da song can i hav this dance.. i love da lyrics..wad that u write down..and our love song..i love to look at da night sky.. cos it is silence... and i did chat with my fist love. tzyy.. we got da same thinking and habbits.. thats looking at da star and moon.. i'll be da star with da moon... this is da conclusion we had tonight.. a dull star is be with da moon for long time.. few years.. butt never leave her.. butt da moon already had da company of cloud.. she n3v@ notice da star.. he wan to be her nobody..
it is 1 am.. butt there is still many of my classmate haven sleep. they are working hard for da final test. butt. im juz fooling around..juz not feeling wan to study.. my mood is same like da weather nowadays..there is so hot and shinny during day time butt it juz starting to get a sudden rain during afternoon.. wad is that wind that keep affecting da cloud in my heart? now listening 安静了by SHE.. now is really silent man..
chris ask me to move to her frenz there.. i'll consider if i never met /=0/\/6 before.. its to late.. don ask me y .. few weeks ago .. my member msg and ask me. if today is stealing day.. wad am i wan to steal from her.. i answer.. i wan to steall all da unhappiness from her..i'm such a person like that.. i'll do all sort of thing for ppl good.. kinda stupid.. who will did it back to me.? 明天以后 from /=0/\/6 and vinci.. mizz u .. i appreciate wad we having now..

Monday, November 3, 2008

spiritually independance


saw many of my fren blog.. every single moment when i had with them b4 keep flipping out from brain... feel kinda ... upset.. all of us are walking to different way... is a way that full of darkness and unsure... and is a way that will never end... God let us meet.. and let us leave.. and.. can U let us remember everyone passerby in our life... everyone hav their own life... own new and long life .. butt.. how am i to be?? whose know ? God know.. haiz.. feel so emo these days... bcos.. of tonzz of thing...

everyone hav their problem .. their thinking and style... butt y.. seems like i don hav.. i also don noe y .. i feel that i juz like liquid.. never hav a fix shape butt with fix volume.. wad my mum or de surrounding want me to be.. i am to be..i juzz.... .. so useless...

im so luckily to hav u to be with me.. at least .. u are da one who will always remembering me when others forgotten.. thanz... butt i know.. i cant juz depend on u .. i am a ppl who will always easy to be forgotten. so .. i hav to be more and more... independant. is my spirit independant... i juz keep depend on someone since b4... i think is da time to spiritually independant.. to myself own.. anyway.. u will be leaving me one day...wad will happen in da future no one know. so .. i hav to learn this b4 u leave ... still hav a long long way for me to walk through.. hope ... i can get rid with it...

Friday, October 31, 2008

depress

2008/10/31
depression
i'll always ask.. y am i born in this world.. if that time.. da nurse never save me.. i will never born in this world.. im juz... thats too much things happened within these months... im really tired for that.. i really cant stand anymore.. as in a nutshell.. it came again.. im juz soak in tears these ..weeks... pounds of problem in my family ... SHIT... how am i to solve.. how am i to stand . how am i to face.. how am i to help . wad can i do .. y i born in this family which others never hav.. if i hav a common family.. that will be great. every of my fren.. either new or old either schoomate or housemate.. will appreciate for their harmony and warm family after knew my family.. yes, every family will face their own problem .. y juz mine................ so so so so sos ossoss shit.... this is da worst family i think ... although not no.1 in world.. but.. is no.1 one.. among all alll alla lllll over my frenzzzzz ..among all ppl that around me.. thats more than enuff...
i've never hav a happy day since small.... ... exam is coming.. im juz doing nothing... tears evaporate ... heart.. never be there.. juz hope that. i'll never let it happen in my own family in future... i really scare this will be a horror dream that will be never end..

on da other hand.. i really fed up for my every love story ... y am i always place in btw at least 2 guys..i don wanna choose anymore.. y every that of i choose right b4 will be da wrong one in da end... guys.. cant u juz come 1 by 1 ..i don wan to be cruel or hurt anyone.. can every single part in my life juz be normal as others... i don wan special.. i juz wan to be normal .. and.. im not a good gal as u all think ... theres still thousand track of beauty clever brilliant seducive lady around the world.. juz let me down ok ? let me go .. forget me.. don be so bad taste ok ?
p/s : thanx \/\/031 cos keep help and accompany me whenever i need .. and also /=0/\/G